Just by you being alive and reading this,
I know there are many things that you want.

There are many things you already have,
but there’s also countless experiences that you still want,
or even long for.

When I speak about creating authentic attraction,
it sounds like I’m saying sexual attraction.

And though that’s definitely part of the mix,
in essence I’m talking about all of life.

Attractiveness

This is about being attractive to whatever you want from life.
Have you ever thought about it like that?

Yes, you can be attractive to another person,
but attractive to a certain experience or thing?

It reminds me of a quote I posted some time ago:

Attractiveness

or:

The less you’ll need it, the more likely you’ll have it

The Laws of the Universe

I know there are things in your life that you want, or even think you need.
More money, deeper relationships, more time, better health?

Whatever it is, the laws of the Universe work in such a way,
that when you think you “need” it, you create tension inside yourself
that actually makes it harder to have that experience.

The more hung up you are about something,
the further away it will seem. Recognize the feeling?

I know, it sucks! Until you figure out how to work with these laws.

Even though I haven’t presented it like this,
I already wrote quite a few blogs that explain exactly how to do it.
Hear me out:

Stop it!

You can read about the Law of Attraction in many places.
The only thing I’ll say about it here is this:

Life knows your deepest, most intimate longings.
And it has the ability to provide you with the fulfillment of all of them.
Your only job is to stop resisting it’s unfolding.

But how?

Figure out what makes you feel passionate, what excites you,
what inspires and turns you on.

Stop thinking your way around life and start feeling it.
Your feelings are your inner GPS. They’ll show the way.

Simple: Being in alignment feels good. Being out of alignment feels bad.

There’s no need for you to figure out your life’s purpose on the spot.
Just start noticing what makes you feel good and what doesn’t.
That sensitivity will take you all the way.

Indeed it does

Your life isn’t supposed to be “sort-of”, “so-so”, “ok”, or anything like that.
Please don’t get stuck believing that.

Your life is supposed to be amazing.
You are born to be great in your own unique way.

If these words resonate with you,
navigate to my other blogs and use the exercises I offer.

They’ll have you focus on being present, feeling good,
and what you want, instead of the lack of it.

Use it or lose it

They work, but only if you use them.
I don’t care if you take cold showers, exercise,
meditate, write, walk, or undistractify yourself.

Whatever makes you tick brother!
(I can’t choose, and simply use all of them)

Are you ready to be fully alive?
To stop making excuses?

It’s here, right under your nose.
I wish you a 2016 of passion and greatness!

Roald

 

P.S. I really appreciate hearing from you.
Feel welcome to share your insights or comments
below the blog. Thanks, speak soon!

If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.

Osho

Fire and Water

I love the analogy of men being like fire, and women being like water.
Sexually, a man can get turned on real easy and quickly.
It doesn’t take long for him to get hard, for his body to be ready for sex.

A man can have sex and ejaculate within a few minutes.
The fire ignites quickly, reaches a peak of explosion, and then dies down,
having consumed all of it’s fuel.

(And according to research, this is how most men have sex unfortunately.
Because they have no idea what they’re missing.
But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself here).

Sexually, a woman is more like water. She needs time to warm up.
She needs a constant influx of warmth and heat to turn her on.
It takes some time, but once she’s boiling, she stays hot for a looong time.

She can go on and on and on…

Orgasmic Beings

Women are highly orgasmic beings, much more so than us.
And as the men who love them, we have the privilege to touch them in ways that open them.
And enjoy orgasms together on deeper and deeper levels.

But in order to ride those waves of pleasure,
we need to learn to handle our sexual fire.
And that’s not just a matter of getting some techniques, it includes all of who we are.

Can I handle my explosive desire so that I’m able to feel what she needs to open?
Can I use my fire with patience so that she can heat up increasingly, without me losing it?

Every compliment, every gesture, cuddle and look;
every word can be something that turns her on a little more.
It’s an art.
What can I give so that she will feel deeper trust, relaxation, openness?

It’s not about me getting something at the end of the line (fucking! sex! happy!)
It’s about enjoying her fully, all the way, all the time.
Every little detail of her beauty, her radiance, her sensuality.

The power of our fire

What women don’t always understand is how powerful our sexual fire is.
Once we get turned on, it’s such a strong force, that a first tendency will be
to want to get rid of it.

The intensity of our sexual desire can sometimes feel very uncomfortable,
painful even, if we can’t fully allow it.
I get it.

This is why, when men hear about “letting go of ejaculation” for the first time,
they rarely respond with enthusiasm.
Maybe I should talk about “having orgasms for hours on end”.
Sounds better?

I experience sexual energy as a strong force that starts in my balls and cock,
and then makes it’s way up through my belly, my solar plexus,
my heart and my throat.

It shoots upwards, and wants to open these centers of power (solar plexus),
heart, and expression (throat).

If I’m not ready to open, it will feel like an unpleasant tension (blue balls!),
and I’ll most likely choose to ejaculate, so that the energy doesn’t have to rise all the way up.

To open a woman

So in order for me to be with a woman, and give her deep pleasure,
I need to be willing to open up, to feel, to get vulnerable.

Vulnerable in the sense that my heart will be touched by her,
and I’ll feel naked in front of her.
But also vulnerable in the sense of showing my strong desire,
my masculine power, and expressing myself through sounds and words.

Do I dare say that I love her, or how deeply I enjoy her?
Do I dare express how much I want to fuck her juicy wet pussy
and devour her sexy body, in all it’s explicitness?

Can I allow myself to moan and groan and sigh with lust and passion?

Fuck Talk

I once met a gorgeous young woman at a friend’s party.
We talked a little, exchanged some massage, and we later connected on Facebook.
It became apparent early on that we wanted to see each other.

During our conversation, things turned increasingly sexual and hot.
I was finding more and more sexual ways of speaking to her,
and she expressed how her body responded in kind.

We were already having sex with words:
I was fuck-talking her into a state of high arousal.

Every day after that, we sent each other short, turned-on messages.
And when we finally saw each other, three days later,
she was so extremely turned on (me too, by the way)
that very little was needed to bring her in an orgasmic state of surrender.

We had such an amazing time together:
Real connection, incredible sex, oh my god!
And many times after that, by the way.

I’m using this as an example because it shows how we can play the game
of turning each other on for days on end,
and increase the sexual energy more and more with each little thing we do.

If you want a great example of how not to do it, check out this hilarious clip.

Tip of the iceberg

There’s so much more I can say about this. So much we could talk about.
So many things to learn.
That’s exactly why I offer the Sexual Power Program.

To go deep enough into this material we need to dedicate our time and energy to it.
We need to come together to learn and practice.

But for now, let’s talk here.
Share your comments, tell me what you think!

Thanks for reading, speak soon
Roald

Do you know this experience?
You meet a new lover.
Everything is exciting and wonderful.
You open up, life is great, and it feels like one big adventure.

But over time -and that might be anything from a day to a year-
your enthusiasm wanes.
You feel more like friends.

The sex isn’t that great anymore or even disappears.
You take each other for granted and daily life takes over…

So how do you keep your relationship alive and exciting?

Now even though you never know what life will bring,
you can make choices to make it more likely it’ll agree with you.

The 6 Human Needs

Tony Robbins speaks about six fundamental human needs,
and I want to address the first two:

1. The need for certainty or safety: The assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure.
2. The need for uncertainty: The unknown, change, newness.

In the first stages of a relationship, both of these needs are usually met.
You meet someone new and exciting, and venture into the unknown.

At the same time your wish to feel safe is being fulfilled
by this significant other who loves being with you.

Unfortunately, we often sacrifice variety for so-called safety.

You adapt to one another so you don’t rock the boat.
This is safe, comfortable, and eventually boring.
You start taking each other for granted.

In the beginning, there’s great chemistry, like magnets drawing together.
But over time, as we choose safety and comfort over the exciting insecurities of life,
the magnetic poles are neutralized, and the chemistry is lost.

01: Follow your enthusiasm

This brings me to the first and most important key to creating excitement in your relationships:
Do you feel excited about your own life, with or without a partner?

Are you following your own enthusiasm?

Last week I wrote about this in Do you love your life yet?
The more you create a life that you truly love
-whether you’re already in a relationship or not-
the less you’ll feel the need for another person to come and fulfill you.

So what makes you feel alive? What makes you really want to be here?
What are you willing to wake up for in the middle of the night?

The more you make choices which are aligned with your enthusiasm,
the more awareness and aliveness you’ll bring to any connection.

02: Authenticity in Relating

One of the greatest blessings I’ve experienced over the past years,
has been the deepening of my authentic relating skills.
This practice, also known as circling, has given me so much,
I could write several articles about it.

It gives you the tools to completely own your experience.
This helps you to fully express what you feel,
including your previously “forbidden” emotions,
without dumping personal stuff on your partner and creating an emotional mess.

My experience with this practice has been that it has deepened all my connections,
and made them much richer, more juicy, exciting and real.

By owning your experience, being real & dropping your masks,
by honestly expressing your desires,
you’ll free up tremendous amounts of energy.
Both within yourself, as well as in your relationships.

It can be a powerful and scary mirror sometimes, but the fruits are well worth the labor.
It would be too much to explain in this short article,
so I recommend you look it up if this speaks to you.

We practice authentic relating in the Real Men Project,
but there are many other places to learn as well.

03: Cultivate your Sexual Power

One of the key teachings for me in tantra has been
learning to cultivate my sexual energy without ejaculating.

This doesn’t mean that ejaculation becomes a forbidden fruit
-you know how seductive that would be-
but it does mean learning to make a conscious choice about your orgasm.

If you’re already practiced at circulating your sexual energy: Great!
You’ve probably felt the heightened energy levels,
greater clarity & presence, and stronger attractiveness that you exude
when taking on this practice.

If you haven’t ventured into this territory yet, take my word:
you don’t know what you’ve been missing.
This is a practice well worth taking on, both for yourself, as well as for your sex- and love life.

Check out this link if you want to go deeper into the subject.

04: Choose your Words with Care

This practice is especially powerful when you’re in relationship already,
but also when dating, this will help you to understand what conversation creates attraction,
and which words take it away.

I learned this one from David Deida:
Commit to speaking only about God, Love and Sex with your partner
(“God” being anything that is inspiring, transcendental and blissful to you).

Usually we’re not so aware of the effect of our words, but take my word for it,
if you spend your time talking about the kids, the groceries, taxes and work,
you are not going to spice up your love life.

Unless you have a fetish for numbers, work at a very sexy job,
only shop for erotic foods, and speak about how you’re gonna make kids, that is.

So whenever you’re together with your lover (juicier than “partner” in my opinion),
or with a potential lover, speak only about these subjects that excite and turn you on.

Whenever you need to speak about something practical, just use text or email.
This tool works! It lifts you out of your daily rut,
and honors your relationship as the special connection it is.

05: Bring (back) the Juice into your Relationship

Key number 5 is an exercise you can do together.
Again, if you’re not in a relationship yet, you can turn this into a very spicy game:

Decide on the three things that bring the most juice into your connection.
After that, decide on the three things that most take the juice out of your connection.

Make a commitment -either for the next two weeks, or for the next two hours-
to only feed the three mentioned above, and consciously refrain from doing the three below.

Let me know how it goes…

Over to you

So which practice will you take on to create more excitement in your life?
How will you turn up the volume of turn-on?

Do you have a very special practice that I haven’t mentioned
and everybody needs to know about?

Let me know in the comments below!

.

Speak soon,
Roald

P.S. The next Foundations of Presence program is around the corner.
Be sure to check it out if you wish to create real and lasting change in your life.

What makes us authentically attractive?

Today’s blog is about the essence of what makes us attractive.
But it’s not as straightforward as you might expect.

This is about being attractive from the inside out.
This is what I found out through my own experience.

Be intimate with yourself

No, I’m not talking about masturbation.
This can of course be a way to intimacy,
though most of us actually use it as a means to get away from ourselves.

What I mean is: being intimate with your life experience.
Just as it is.
The ability to be very close to what is here and now.

The more time you spend up in your head, the less intimate you’ll feel with life.
You’ll feel disconnected or lonely, or dull.

What do you mean: being intimate?

If you’ve ever made love to someone, you know how close that feels.
But have you realized that when you make love, or hug someone,
you actually touch yourself?

When I caress someone, I feel the inside of my own hand.
When someone massages me, I feel the pleasure of my own body.
When I love someone deeply, I feel that love in me.

But how often do I experience this kind of intimacy with myself?
Not so often.
The mistake we make -I know I do- is to think we need someone else
to have this experience of intimacy.

Close to me

It can be a challenge to feel close to myself.
Because it means feeling everything that is alive inside.
And that’s not always pleasant.

Sometimes it seems easier and “safer” to be up in my head, to zone out.
But if I’m not able to really connect to myself,
how am I going to be deeply intimate with someone else?

Get out of your head and into your Life

This is the reason why I started doing bodywork, massage, dance, etc.
I had a deep longing for connection, and these were my ways to find it.

I discovered the pleasure of being in a physical body.
And in the process, I found out that being in this state
also makes one very attractive.

Why?

When I do bodywork, massage, dance or exercise,
it gets my juices flowing.
I feel more, I sense more, and I get connected to my primal powers.

Depth of Presence

In short: my presence deepens, becoming strong and embodied.
Now some men might prefer sitting in meditation to moving their bodies.
And yes, that will get you very present, too.

But -call me biased and generalizing- I do believe that a woman
loves a man who, she feels, really wants to be here.

Who knows how to enjoy himself.
A man who want to be in his body, and in her body.

Who is able to pick her up and swing her around,
make sweet sweet love to her, but also grab her
and fuck her deeply when called for.

In order to meet someone on all these levels,
you need to be connected to your body, to your feelings,
and to all the different “animals” that live inside.

Fully in touch

My own life experience has convinced me,
that being fully in touch with our bodies is what makes us attractive.

No, not just with our bodies, with our whole life experience!
And even more important than that, is that we can actually enjoy ourselves,
and feel the pleasure of it.

And with that, I mean allowing whatever is felt, to be there.
This not-resisting-what-is, has it’s own kind of pleasure.

It makes us full, charged, and non-needy (more about that in a later post).

What ignites you?

What is it that brings you into a deeper connection
with your body and yourself?

What ignites your passion for life, opens you up,
and helps you to connect to your power?

Is it dance, yoga, hiking, martial arts, biking?
Something completely different?

Haven’t got a clue?

How would it be to use your body in a way
that feels pleasurable and powerful, instead of only functional?

Leave your comment underneath the blog,
I’m looking forward to having this conversation.
Speak soon!

Roald

P.S. To learn more about the Sexual Power program and to sign up,
go here.

When I was twenty years old, I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

I felt greatly inspired, and decided to start living my own legend, right away.
I decided that I would follow my heart in life,
wherever it would lead me.

I even quit my university education because I felt it didn’t lead
to the life I ultimately wanted.

Now I don’t know about you, but I can be a bit slow sometimes.
It’s taken me years to actually create a life that I love.
And it’s still in the making (but by now, it’s fun).

At first I thought: ”Once I decide to follow my heart,
my life’s path will be laid out before me on a silver platter”.
Eh…well…so…yeah.
Not.

For a while, I was basically clueless.

Follow your enthusiasm

But one thing I believed in: As long as I follow my enthusiasm, my inspiration,
and fill my life with things that I love, everything will fall into place.

I sincerely hope it won’t take you as long as it took me,
but eventually things did begin to take shape.

The more I grow, the more I realize that the thing we are born to do,
the greatest gift that we have for the world,
is also that which comes most naturally and effortlessly.

The tricky thing is this: By far the majority of us have learned that to be successful in life,
we have to work hard, do what others tell us, sit still and be a good boy, etc.

We’ve been programmed away from our natural state of being,
which is open, playful, embodied, powerful and highly intuitive.

Path to success

So the path to success, or freedom, or fulfillment, however you wanna call it,
is not so much about learning new stuff, but more about unlearning old faulty programming.

It’s about becoming aware: What excites me? What has me curious?
What makes me enthusiastic and ignites my passion?

And at the same time: How do I see myself or the world in a way
that creates pain and tension?
Where in my organism am I contracting?
How am I holding myself back?

And then to open through that, so you can be more of who you are.

Effortless Power

Spring is in the air as I’m writing this. You can feel it all around.
There’s an aliveness, a new opening, an excitement, an expectation.

Looking at the natural world, you can see that there is no “work” there.
Nature simply happens.
Springtime is an explosion of new life, but there’s no effort involved.

And it’s fucking powerful!

I believe we can do with some serious biomimicry in terms of our personal development.

We are nature as well, we just have this interesting and slightly-fucked-up-sometimes
crazy mind of ours, and tend to forget.

But how awesome is it, to realize that we have an inherent nature that we can trust
to move us in the right direction?

Uniqueness

I like to look at it like this: We are all born as a kind of seed.
And similar to how this seed grows into a particular plant or tree,
we are growing into unique human beings with unique traits and gifts.

Our main job is to un-“get in the way of” that process.

I find that the more I can be present with my life experience
without trying to change it, the faster my life changes.

The more I’m willing to be with a painful feeling, the faster it dissipates.
The deeper I allow myself to open when I feel awesome, the more it integrates.

The bread-crumb trail of excitement

Excitement 00

So: Do you love your life yet?
Do you allow yourself to be guided by your enthusiasm,
instead of what you’ve been told?

Do you love your work?
Do you love the people in your life?
Do you express your authentic self?

I’d love to hear from you, and know where your enthusiasm
is leading you.
Meet me in the comments underneath the blog,
and we’ll continue there.

.

Thanks!
Roald

Winter is coming closer…

Have you ever felt a bit down during this period?
Or maybe even depressed?

It gets cold and dark, you spend lots of time inside,
you eat more, move less.

You know what I mean? Well I know I do.
For years, winter wasn’t really my time to look forward to.

But then last year I found something that worked.
I started feeling so much better. Consistently!

It was so simple that I had sort of dismissed it before.
Silly me…

On track

This has now become a daily practice for me.
And I can tell you: I’m looking forward to winter.

I feel on track, strong and balanced.
I am productive, consistent and a lot more confident.
I’m more creative, inspired and excited about life!

So what is it that will put a smile on your face?

Working out.
Daily.

That’s it?

Yes, yes, I’m sorry, it’s not a funny Youtube clip, or an inspirational quote.
Yes, you actually have to do something for it.

But if you already have a regular workout routine, you will fully agree:
This shit works!

I mean, if you want to feel more empowered: BAM!
If you want to feel more attractive, fit and confident: Check!
If you want to produce happy hormones more consistently: Yep, this is it!

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It doesn’t have to take long.
I started out with 15 minutes per day. Right now it’s 30 minutes.

And that’s enough.
As long as you get your blood pumping and your sweat dripping, it does the job.

I want you to get this

I really want you to get this.
It took me so many years to realize that something so simple
and so “un-spiritual” could have such a great effect on my life.

What I want you to get is:
If you have low self-esteem, feel out of balance,
if you’re up in your head all the time,
or have difficulty getting your life on track:

Just do this.
Believe me, this makes it all work.

Check it out yo

Ok, enough trying to convince you.
I hope this inspires you to try it out.

Tip: you can find countless 5-minute Tabata or HIIT clips on Youtube.
Check it out. Take those 5 minutes. And feel the difference.
It’s not about the muscle. It’s about changing your state.

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Make it a habit. Even if it’s just a tiny habit.
You won’t regret it…

Leave your inspiring comment

If you already have a workout routine, or you know the worth of it,
leave an inspiring comment that will help others get off their asses.

I will reward you with a gift, as a thank you for conspiring with me.
I’m not telling you what it is. Not yet.

But you won’t regret the two minutes you took
to write your comment underneath the blog, I promise you.

Speak soon brother!
Roald

Today’s article is very practical.
It needs you to imagine, feel & write.
And you will get excited as you nail it.

The main reason people set goals,
is to feel a certain way, right?
We’re going to take the shortcut here.

Instead of focusing on goals and to-do’s for the upcoming year,
we’ll zoom in on how you want to feel.
And what naturally follows, is what we call Inspired Action.

Take at least 15 minutes to get the absolute most out of this process.

Step 1: Brainstorm

This is the game of feeling awesome.
Get pen and paper ready (Old school works best!)
Let’s start:

How would you like to feel in 2016?
Take 5 minutes to write down anything that comes to mind.
Don’t censor it, let yourself go wild.

Step 2: Pick your very best

Now go over your list again.
Pick the three words that stand out the most.

The ones that feel powerful.
These are your key ingredients.

Step 3: Set your Intention

Next you’ll create an intention.
Make a sentence with your three chosen words.

It should be present tense, positive and short.
Start with “I feel” or “I am”.

For example, my words were Trust, Adventure and Enthusiasm.
My intention: “I am full of trust, adventurous and enthusiastic”

Step 4: Your To-Feel-List

This next step should be really good.
You’re going to create a To-Feel-List for yourself.
It’s like an awesome-feeling-bucket list.

 

Take three more papers,
and write one of your words on each sheet.
Now write down everything that you can do
to make you feel that way.

(For example, I wrote down: Adventurous
Go to festivals and parties, create a surprise journey for a friend,
visit a new country, have a threesome 😉
and so on…)

Take as long as you want for this step.
Write and write and write.

If you get stuck, ask yourself:
“What will make me feel “…” ?” and let the answer come.
Train your imagination, and have fun with it.

Step 5: Your Timeline

Great work. How do you feel now?
Getting excited about the possibilities?

Now finalize your To-Feel-List by making a timeline.
Write down what you want to do:
1. Next month
2. Next three months
3. Next year

This supposed to make you feel good.
At the end make sure that you put at least one
of these things on your calendar.

Plan it. Make it happen. Take that first step.

You now have a great plan for the coming year.
Just reading it will already be a strong reminder.
Let it inspire you to focus on how you most want to feel.

Bonus Step: Share the good stuff

I’d love to read your intention!
As always, share in the comments below.
I’ll start by sharing mine.

I wish you a fucking incredible 2016.
And I’ll do my best to help you make it happen.
Aho!
Roald

 

If you’re serious about creating change in your life

Brotherhood

Last Friday we had a powerful Men’s Meetup in Utrecht.
It was an experience of real authentic brotherhood.

And at the end of the Meetup, one of the guys asked me
if I had any “next steps” to take until our October Meetup.

I gave him a few, and it inspired me to give you ONE practice
that I see as the most important.
I have been doing it myself for many years now, and take it from me:

If you use this daily, I can’t begin to tell you how much you’ll benefit.
The value of this practice should not be taken lightly,
though using it will actually help you to take all of life more lightly.

What is it then?

What I’m talking about is a daily meditation practice.
A simple yet powerful practice that gives almost immediate results.

But: it’s not something that you do on your day off.
If you want to reap the benefits, this needs to be part of your every day,
like brushing your teeth.

My new little friend

I’ve been meditating for years already,
and when I found a little handy app called Headspace,
I immediately loved it.

It teaches people new to meditation how it’s done,
and for me it was a great way to come back to simplicity.

I use it every day. It works: I’m a fan. I recommend it to my friends.
And I recommend it to you because it makes meditation easy.

A free gift

As a regular Headspace user, I have the opportunity
to give away three months for free.
That means three months of unlimited access
to all their meditations and programs!

I want to share this gift with someone who’s serious
about bringing real change and goodness to his life.
I’m not just gonna throw it to the ducks.

So how do you get it?

Here are your 3 steps to a great start:

1. Leave your comment underneath the blog:
share why you want to start a daily meditation practice.
If you already have a daily practice:
What benefits have you experienced so far?

2. Download the Headspace app and sign yourself up
(your first ten days are for free).

3. After these ten days, give me a heads up.
Just send me a message and let me know you completed
your first ten days of meditation.

I’ll do step 4.
4.
If you’re the first one, you’ll receive a special code
with which you have three months unlimited access to Headspace.
If you’re not, then hey: you got started on the path of meditation.
You always win!

Thanks for reading, and thanks for your comments.
That’s the value you bring.
Happy meditating!

Roald

P.S. If you found this helpful, please share it with the people you care about. Thanks!

 

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It must’ve been about ten years ago:
I stepped into a workshop about men and women.
I didn’t really like the idea to be honest,
but I think someone recommended it to me. So well, ok…

A few hundred men and women were gathered in a big hall.
Men to the left, women to the right.
On stage, there were a man and a woman,
guiding the men and the women respectively.

Women friends

Up until now I had been mostly interested in hanging out with women.
Both for friendship and for love.
Men didn’t really interest me.

Either I didn’t feel a connection, or there was some kind of
uncomfortable rivalry that I wanted to get away from.
I felt much more comfortable around women.
I could talk with them, cuddle, make love. What else did I need?

The Shift

Up until that moment.
Being in this workshop, something started to change.
I felt a strong sense of brotherhood with the men around me,
as we were hugging, wrestling, brawling together.

The women didn’t seem to really “get” us, but what did we care?
We were amongst brothers!

I realized that I had been missing this all of my life,
without even knowing it.
The relationship with my brother and father had always been,
well, complicated…

I never really felt comfortable connecting to other men.
As if powergames needed to be part of that relationship.

Brotherhood

For the first time in my life I realized: These other men are my brothers!
And from then on, this realization stayed with me.
What I know now, is that we are part of a big brotherhood.

Do you feel the significance of that?
Whereas many of us have been taught to see other men as rivals,
we now have the opportunity to see each other as kin.

I had been looking for love in women
because I lacked this sense of brotherhood with men.
Something profound was missing.

We’ve got each other’s back

In my life right now, I am surrounded by men
who have my best interest in mind.
There’s a mutual intention to inspire and uplift.
We want the very best for one another.

Whenever I lead a men’s group, I know:
At the end I will regard you as my brothers.

It means you can count on me.
I’ve got your back. You have my support.
I care about you, and about you living your truth.

This is what I’ve received from my own men’s group.
We have this saying:”By yourself, but never alone”
That’s what I learned from brotherhood.
It’s powerful.

Stay connected

If you want to have that kind of connection
and support in your life too, I invite you to stay in touch.
We aim to build a greater community of brothers
with our workshops, courses and events.

I suggest coming to one of our Meetups
or joining Foundations of Presence.
Here we lay the groundwork for this awareness
to permeate your life and living.

And I can tell you, it’s way better than
figuring things out, alone,  in your man cave.
The time of the lone wolf is over.
Welcome to the brotherhood.

Over to you

I’m eager to know how you experience brotherhood
in your own life, and what it means to you.
Let me know in the comments!

Roald

 

A bit more than two years ago, Robin and I founded the Real Men Project.
We wanted to help men live their greatness and find their purpose.

We wanted them to feel the power of brotherhood,
and the transformational effect of deep presence.
And we still do.

We intend to offer the best ways we know
to create the deepest lasting impact on your life.

We want to help you be more on track with your life,
and get connected to your passionate and creative nature.
In order to do that, we need your help.

Whether you only read this blog, or attend all of our workshops,
I want you to get a lot of value out of our work.
And for that, I would like to know you better.

So I’m going to ask you four powerful questions.

I recommend you take some time for it, and really connect to them.
Take pen and paper, at least 10 minutes,
and write down your answers.

Try to be as honest as you can in your responses.
The reward is in the doing, as you’ll see.

4 Questions

1. In which area of your life do you feel stuck right now?

2. What is your biggest challenge or pain?

3. What would you choose if money (or time) was not an object?

4. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Showing Up

After you write down your answers,
share them in the comments underneath the blog.
See this as a practice in showing yourself,
and inspiring others to do so as well.

From experience I know it is a great gift for others
when we share our real, vulnerable selves.
And that’s what the Real Men Project is about.

My gift to you

If you’re among the first five men to respond,
you will receive a free coaching call from me.

We’ll dive a lot deeper into the subjects that are important to you,
and this will help you to take the next step in your life.

I’m looking forward to your answers.
Here’s to your aliveness!
Roald