How would it be to have sex for hours on end if you wished?
To stay turned on for days and weeks?
To keep the connection with your lover alive, instead of closing down and pushing her away?
How would it be to feel more present, vital and clear?
More full, charged, and confident?
And to experience full-body orgasms and full-bodied pleasure
that lasts much longer and goes way deeper than a 5-minute ejaculatory orgasm?
All of this is possible if you learn to ride the waves of your sexual energy
instead of letting them have their way with you.
Our powerful biology
I understand full well what a challenge it can be to let go of ejaculation.
It’s one of our strongest biological urges to reproduce,
and once those three million sperm cells start pointing towards the exit
it can feel very hard to stop them.
“Why would I even want to?” I hear some of you ask.
Because, indeed, it feels very nice to ejaculate.
It’s a release of tension, it’s a moment of relief, of blissful surrender.
But it’s also very brief. It’s over in a few seconds. That’s it.
Wouldn’t it be nice to experience that pleasure for much, much longer?
To feel like you actually have a choice about it?
To have sex make you feel more alive, instead of sleepier?
Now there’s nothing wrong with coming in itself.
As I said, it’s a perfectly natural biological urge that we have.
But it’s also a place where you can experience disempowerment,
shame and failure.
For instance if you ejaculate prematurely,
if you can only last a few minutes after penetration,
or if you experience problems with your erection.
This sense of not being in control, being ruled by your cock:
it sucks balls man! And not in a good way.
So this is where sexual cultivation comes in.
It’s first and foremost about learning to disassociate sexual pleasure
from the need to ejaculate.
If every time you get turned on, you need to come,
that’s basically what we call an addiction.
It controls you, instead of the other way around. You have no say in it.
And as long as that’s the case, you’ll never experience what else is possible.
Sexual cultivation practice and ejaculatory choice
Ejaculation or not, it’s a real choice. You can decide if it’s gonna happen or not.
In the beginning of your practice it might not seem that way,
but if you really look at it, there’s always a moment in which you “decide” to cum.
You can also decide not to. I suggest you make that decision before you have sex,
otherwise it’s gonna be quite a challenge.
Start letting the goal of sex be the pleasure in itself,
instead of the previous end goal of ejaculation.
The wave of sexual energy and your point of no return
If the wave of your sexual energy goes from 0% (no arousal at all)
to 100% (ejaculation), then somewhere around 90% is your point of no return.
This is the point beyond which you no longer have any control.
Your mind is totally convinced that coming is the best thing in the world right now,
and you are going to ejaculate.
In order to avoid this, you need to become aware of the wave of your sexual pleasure.
And when you have sex, either with yourself or with a lover,
learn to stay below that threshold.
Way below, especially at first.
Whenever you feel your sexual “voltage” rising towards that point of no return,
take a breather, literally. Take a moment. Rest, relax, before you continue.
Spread the energy throughout your body
When you have regular sex, you build a lot of arousal in your balls and cock.
And the hornier you become, the less controllable it is.
This creates a pressure, or tension, to which at some point the only solution
seems to be to throw it out of your body.
The art is to find another way to liberate the energy,
preferably before it builds up to this point.
Ejaculation is about relief.
But there are much better ways to find both relief, and greater pleasure.
Energy flows where attention goes
Wherever you point your attention, that’s where energy starts flowing.
Bring awareness to your hand and it starts tingling, or gets warm.
Whatever you do to direct the attention to other parts of your body, works.
Breathe deeply – Full deep breaths will be of amazing benefit to spread
the sexual energy throughout your body, and it will enable you
to feel much deeper pleasure.
You fabric and goes is acne tons to, cialis generic the to to brushes a scent. So sticks for!
Make sounds – Most men have the tendency to block the flow when things get really hot.
Either they stop breathing (great recipe for fast ejaculation!)
or they’re completely silent, which is totally unnatural!
Be the fucking animal you are man: Moan, groan, sigh, breathe, scream if you want!
Experience the enormous relief it gives, and how great it feels to give yourself permission.
Move your body – Don’t be a stiff, allow your body to move in any way that feels pleasurable.
If you need to, get up and move around, jump up and down, do push-ups,
dance, shake. Whatever it takes.
Take a cold shower for heaven’s sake! – You’ve heard of this trusted method.
This works especially good when you find yourself with a lot of built-up sexual tension,
and you don’t know how to deal with it.
A cold shower is such an intense stimulant,
that your focus will shift. No doubt about it.
Success guaranteed, heaven indeed!
The Heart Connection
I’ve learned a lot of sexual techniques in my life,
but without a connection to my heart, a vital link is missing.
Not only does it feel much better to stay connected with the flow of love,
it’s also of very practical benefit:
What usually happens, is that when you get really turned on,
your sole focus goes to your cock and “his desires”,
and you lose connection with your heart.
If you make sure that you stay connected with your heart, it’s much easier
to handle the flow of sexual energy and keep it inside your body.
Don’t make this into a difficult or spiritual thing.
Placing a hand on your heart creates the connection already.
Looking into your partner’s eyes. Kissing. Breathing into your chest.
Thinking thoughts that make you feel love.
These things create a direct energetic link to your heart, and will open it.
Solo Cultivation and Cool Arousal
Whether you have a partner or not, you can always practice by yourself.
The first step is to learn being aroused without it needing to end in spilling your seed.
Cool arousal is a state of slight arousal in which you do feel some sexual energy,
but it’s still very easy to handle, and doesn’t urge you towards orgasm.
An easy practice is to hold one hand on your balls, and the other on your heart.
Simply that. Nothing else.
You might get an erection, you might not.
Notice what this feels like for you.
It’s not about getting turned on. There’s no goal, other than to be with it.
Do this for a few minutes, and then go over to your daily business.
This is a great place to start.
It’s good to realize that your whole system is wired to associate masturbation
with it’s previous end goal of ejaculation.
This practice will help you to create a new pathway for yourself.
Porn and Fantasy
The last thing I want to mention if you really want to learn this stuff:
do it without porn or fantasies.
Especially porn is designed to trigger the urge to ejaculate on such a primal level,
that you’re basically fooling yourself if you think you can handle it.
Are you willing to go for 30 days without ejaculating?
I promise that if you do, you’ll experience a change within yourself
that you didn’t think possible.
Words don’t teach, but experience does: The only way for you to know something,
is by actually trying it out.
I suggest you give yourself the opportunity, even if it’s only once in your life,
to experience sex, sexual arousal, and full-on life energy without ejaculation.
You’ll be amazed.
Share your experience
If you have experience in these practices, share!
Maybe you want to add something. Maybe you want to tell your story.
Thanks for reading, and good luck!