Sex, addiction and the Feminine
It’s been such an eye-opener for me to learn about
the connection between brain chemistry, sex and addiction.
Plus: How it relates to what we call “The Feminine”.
What it taught me is that everything that alivens us,
can also debilitate us if we don’t stay present.
Whenever you use pleasure to distract yourself
from what you really feel,
sooner or later you’re gonna get screwed.
The dopamine connection
Let me explain a bit about brain chemistry,
and in particular about this thing called dopamine.
I’ll keep it simple (check some science here), but let me say this:
Whenever we have an experience of “wanting” something (or someone)
that’s the feeling of dopamine in our bodies.
For example: When you meet someone new and exciting,
when you want that bar of chocolate,
when you’re having sex and feeling totally turned on: that’s it.
Unfortunately, our current society offers dopamine on steroids.
Around every corner we have multiple opportunities
for instant gratification of our desires.
And as you know, whenever you give in to a desire too much,
it screws you over.
It leaves you feeling depleted, and it actually destabilizes your brain chemistry.
When your dopamine levels are off balance, you can experience anything from
anxiety to depression, compulsive thinking, addictive tendencies, mood swings,
aggression and more.
Believe me, I’ve been there and experienced them all.
How you do anything is how you do everything
What I want you to get is this: the way you are sexually,
and the way you deal with your feelings (or not),
are very intimately connected.
If you really get that being sexually empowered is all about
the ability to feel deeply without running away from it,
then you’ve struck gold.
Get this, and you’re there.
Oh yeah, and by the way: this applies to your whole life.
But you got that already, right?
“How you do anything, is how you do everything”.
What’s your favorite addiction?
So what is it for you? What’s your favorite?
It’s ok, we all have something (or multiple things).
What do you use to distract yourself, to numb yourself, to zone out?
Is it work? Gaming? Alcohol? Caffeine? Drugs? Got a sweet tooth? Porn?
Ah, it must be food then. Compulsive thinking perhaps?
If you want to feel your Sexual Power, yet keep this part unconscious,
you’re basically shooting yourself in the foot.
It’s like opening up, and closing yourself down at the same time.
Step one: Awareness
I’m not talking about being perfect, or becoming a monk.
It’s about being aware: When do you use what
to avoid being with certain feelings?
Just that. No judgment.
Whenever you numb yourself like this,
you’re using your habit as a substitute for the Feminine:
There is a deeper longing for the beauty, the aliveness, the softness,
fullness and radiance of Life itself.
And your addiction is a mere surrogate.
I invite you to make a deeper connection here.
Be honest with yourself. Bring awareness to it.
This will teach you to ride with the intensity of your Power,
instead of being enslaved by it.
Now over to you
As always, I enjoy having a conversation with you.
Share in the comments below:
1. What is your “favorite” habit?
And anything else you want to talk about, regarding this subject.
P.S. Here you can read more about the Sexual Power Program