It’s a paradoxical thing: in this time of worldwide connectedness,
there’s so much less real connection.
The question is: Are we connecting the dots here?

We are surrounded by more “new, better, faster and shinier” than ever,
and still find ourselves looking for the next experience.

We are so virtually connected, yet disconnected on a personal, bodily, visceral level.

It’s a rarity nowadays, to be in a space full of people and have someone
not checking their smartphone.

Virtual Life

For many people it’s normal to wake up with their smartphone, spend the day
behind a screen, and finish the day with their small screen.

What we barely realize is by living this highly wired life, we bring our brains in a
near-permanent state of high-beta brainwaves: a state of stress.

It feels like time is moving faster, so you experience having less time.
You get more easily distracted, making it harder to focus on what matters,
and even know what really matters.

It makes you function on a more mental level, being less and less embodied.

The connection to your body and feelings becomes superficial.
In order to feel sensation and connection, you need stronger stimuli.

My Digital Detox

Now I’m a bodyworker. I work and play with the body a lot.
I have quite a good connection to my body and my feelings.

But I have to admit that I was quite amazed at the effects I experienced
after only a week of digital detoxing:

√Much more time
√Better sleep
√Calmer, more focused mood
√More enjoyment of food, music and simple things
√More time for everything I do, and more attentiveness to it
√Stronger sense of connectedness to the moment

I no longer get the sense like I have to be somewhere else where it is happening.
Bye bye FOMO!

Sometimes less is more.

True Intimacy

We all want to feel alive, free, connected and happy.
And the only way we can truly experience this,
is by being fully in the here and now.

Modern digital life stimulates the notion that this fulfillment is to be found somewhere else.
It’s a bit like being lured with a carrot on a stick (in this case: a new gadget on a selfie-stick).

I call it There and Then.

Connection

One of the most direct ways to drop into the present moment,
is deep connected breathing.

Just pause for a second and take ten deep breaths.
And feel the difference…

This direct experience is totally magical and completely simple.

It is by being very close to this moment that you realize:
everything I need is already here.

Slow down

Ok, that sounds nice, but in order for it to actually make sense,
we need to slow down…

By taking more time off from our screens, we calm our agitated brains.
They start to produce more alpha brainwaves,
associated with relaxation and meditation.

Being too digitally “connected” makes us crave for more, yet not find it.
Because it’s not in more, it’s in deeper.
To cure our addiction to more, better, faster, we need deeper connection.

This “slowing down” then naturally creates the kind of real intimacy
that you probably thought of first when you read the title of this article.
Enjoy!

.

Thanks for reading, speak soon!
Roald

3 gedachten over “True Intimacy”

  1. Great article and inspiration for me to give digital “detox” a try! Did you completely avoid using electronics at home for a week?

    1. Hi Max,
      I don’t use any screens or internet in my home. I do have a simple nokia so people can
      reach me by text or phone.
      My initial goal is to do this for a month, but my secret objective is to make this into a new habit.
      So far it feels easy and great.

      Good luck on your detox, let me know how it goes!

Reacties zijn gesloten.

Upcoming events

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

Wednesday 5 October will be a special evening. Several trainers of the men’s year training which starts 15 October, will give a short introduction of their work. Of course there will be some explanation in words, but the focus will be on experiencing it for yourself.

When you decide to apply for the year training after this Meetup, there’s a special discount offer of 100 euro! Check the Facebook event for more details

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

05-10-2016 Year Training Introduction Meetup

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

12-10-2016 Real Men Meetup

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

26-10-2016 Real Men Meetup

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

09-11-2016 Real Men Meetup

Practical information

Loading...