If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.
Fire and Water
I love the analogy of men being like fire, and women being like water.
Sexually, a man can get turned on real easy and quickly.
It doesn’t take long for him to get hard, for his body to be ready for sex.
A man can have sex and ejaculate within a few minutes.
The fire ignites quickly, reaches a peak of explosion, and then dies down,
having consumed all of it’s fuel.
(And according to research, this is how most men have sex unfortunately.
Because they have no idea what they’re missing.
But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself here).
Sexually, a woman is more like water. She needs time to warm up.
She needs a constant influx of warmth and heat to turn her on.
It takes some time, but once she’s boiling, she stays hot for a looong time.
She can go on and on and on…
Women are highly orgasmic beings, much more so than us.
And as the men who love them, we have the privilege to touch them in ways that open them.
And enjoy orgasms together on deeper and deeper levels.
But in order to ride those waves of pleasure,
we need to learn to handle our sexual fire.
And that’s not just a matter of getting some techniques, it includes all of who we are.
Can I handle my explosive desire so that I’m able to feel what she needs to open?
Can I use my fire with patience so that she can heat up increasingly, without me losing it?
Every compliment, every gesture, cuddle and look;
every word can be something that turns her on a little more.
It’s an art.
What can I give so that she will feel deeper trust, relaxation, openness?
It’s not about me getting something at the end of the line (fucking! sex! happy!)
It’s about enjoying her fully, all the way, all the time.
Every little detail of her beauty, her radiance, her sensuality.
The power of our fire
What women don’t always understand is how powerful our sexual fire is.
Once we get turned on, it’s such a strong force, that a first tendency will be
to want to get rid of it.
The intensity of our sexual desire can sometimes feel very uncomfortable,
painful even, if we can’t fully allow it.
I get it.
This is why, when men hear about “letting go of ejaculation” for the first time,
they rarely respond with enthusiasm.
Maybe I should talk about “having orgasms for hours on end”.
I experience sexual energy as a strong force that starts in my balls and cock,
and then makes it’s way up through my belly, my solar plexus,
my heart and my throat.
It shoots upwards, and wants to open these centers of power (solar plexus),
heart, and expression (throat).
If I’m not ready to open, it will feel like an unpleasant tension (blue balls!),
and I’ll most likely choose to ejaculate, so that the energy doesn’t have to rise all the way up.
To open a woman
So in order for me to be with a woman, and give her deep pleasure,
I need to be willing to open up, to feel, to get vulnerable.
Vulnerable in the sense that my heart will be touched by her,
and I’ll feel naked in front of her.
But also vulnerable in the sense of showing my strong desire,
my masculine power, and expressing myself through sounds and words.
Do I dare say that I love her, or how deeply I enjoy her?
Do I dare express how much I want to fuck her juicy wet pussy
and devour her sexy body, in all it’s explicitness?
Can I allow myself to moan and groan and sigh with lust and passion?
I once met a gorgeous young woman at a friend’s party.
We talked a little, exchanged some massage, and we later connected on Facebook.
It became apparent early on that we wanted to see each other.
During our conversation, things turned increasingly sexual and hot.
I was finding more and more sexual ways of speaking to her,
and she expressed how her body responded in kind.
We were already having sex with words:
I was fuck-talking her into a state of high arousal.
Every day after that, we sent each other short, turned-on messages.
And when we finally saw each other, three days later,
she was so extremely turned on (me too, by the way)
that very little was needed to bring her in an orgasmic state of surrender.
We had such an amazing time together:
Real connection, incredible sex, oh my god!
And many times after that, by the way.
I’m using this as an example because it shows how we can play the game
of turning each other on for days on end,
and increase the sexual energy more and more with each little thing we do.
If you want a great example of how not to do it, check out this hilarious clip.
Tip of the iceberg
There’s so much more I can say about this. So much we could talk about.
So many things to learn.
That’s exactly why I offer the Sexual Power Program.
To go deep enough into this material we need to dedicate our time and energy to it.
We need to come together to learn and practice.
But for now, let’s talk here.
Share your comments, tell me what you think!
Thanks for reading, speak soon