What makes us authentically attractive?
Today’s blog is about the essence of what makes us attractive.
But it’s not as straightforward as you might expect.
This is about being attractive from the inside out.
This is what I found out through my own experience.
Be intimate with yourself
No, I’m not talking about masturbation.
This can of course be a way to intimacy,
though most of us actually use it as a means to get away from ourselves.
What I mean is: being intimate with your life experience.
Just as it is.
The ability to be very close to what is here and now.
The more time you spend up in your head, the less intimate you’ll feel with life.
You’ll feel disconnected or lonely, or dull.
What do you mean: being intimate?
If you’ve ever made love to someone, you know how close that feels.
But have you realized that when you make love, or hug someone,
you actually touch yourself?
When I caress someone, I feel the inside of my own hand.
When someone massages me, I feel the pleasure of my own body.
When I love someone deeply, I feel that love in me.
But how often do I experience this kind of intimacy with myself?
Not so often.
The mistake we make -I know I do- is to think we need someone else
to have this experience of intimacy.
Close to me
It can be a challenge to feel close to myself.
Because it means feeling everything that is alive inside.
And that’s not always pleasant.
Sometimes it seems easier and “safer” to be up in my head, to zone out.
But if I’m not able to really connect to myself,
how am I going to be deeply intimate with someone else?
Get out of your head and into your Life
This is the reason why I started doing bodywork, massage, dance, etc.
I had a deep longing for connection, and these were my ways to find it.
I discovered the pleasure of being in a physical body.
And in the process, I found out that being in this state
also makes one very attractive.
When I do bodywork, massage, dance or exercise,
it gets my juices flowing.
I feel more, I sense more, and I get connected to my primal powers.
Depth of Presence
In short: my presence deepens, becoming strong and embodied.
Now some men might prefer sitting in meditation to moving their bodies.
And yes, that will get you very present, too.
But -call me biased and generalizing- I do believe that a woman
loves a man who, she feels, really wants to be here.
Who knows how to enjoy himself.
A man who want to be in his body, and in her body.
Who is able to pick her up and swing her around,
make sweet sweet love to her, but also grab her
and fuck her deeply when called for.
In order to meet someone on all these levels,
you need to be connected to your body, to your feelings,
and to all the different “animals” that live inside.
Fully in touch
My own life experience has convinced me,
that being fully in touch with our bodies is what makes us attractive.
No, not just with our bodies, with our whole life experience!
And even more important than that, is that we can actually enjoy ourselves,
and feel the pleasure of it.
And with that, I mean allowing whatever is felt, to be there.
This not-resisting-what-is, has it’s own kind of pleasure.
It makes us full, charged, and non-needy (more about that in a later post).
What ignites you?
What is it that brings you into a deeper connection
with your body and yourself?
What ignites your passion for life, opens you up,
and helps you to connect to your power?
Is it dance, yoga, hiking, martial arts, biking?
Something completely different?
Haven’t got a clue?
How would it be to use your body in a way
that feels pleasurable and powerful, instead of only functional?
Leave your comment underneath the blog,
I’m looking forward to having this conversation.
P.S. To learn more about the Sexual Power program and to sign up,