What makes us authentically attractive?

Today’s blog is about the essence of what makes us attractive.
But it’s not as straightforward as you might expect.

This is about being attractive from the inside out.
This is what I found out through my own experience.

Be intimate with yourself

No, I’m not talking about masturbation.
This can of course be a way to intimacy,
though most of us actually use it as a means to get away from ourselves.

What I mean is: being intimate with your life experience.
Just as it is.
The ability to be very close to what is here and now.

The more time you spend up in your head, the less intimate you’ll feel with life.
You’ll feel disconnected or lonely, or dull.

What do you mean: being intimate?

If you’ve ever made love to someone, you know how close that feels.
But have you realized that when you make love, or hug someone,
you actually touch yourself?

When I caress someone, I feel the inside of my own hand.
When someone massages me, I feel the pleasure of my own body.
When I love someone deeply, I feel that love in me.

But how often do I experience this kind of intimacy with myself?
Not so often.
The mistake we make -I know I do- is to think we need someone else
to have this experience of intimacy.

Close to me

It can be a challenge to feel close to myself.
Because it means feeling everything that is alive inside.
And that’s not always pleasant.

Sometimes it seems easier and “safer” to be up in my head, to zone out.
But if I’m not able to really connect to myself,
how am I going to be deeply intimate with someone else?

Get out of your head and into your Life

This is the reason why I started doing bodywork, massage, dance, etc.
I had a deep longing for connection, and these were my ways to find it.

I discovered the pleasure of being in a physical body.
And in the process, I found out that being in this state
also makes one very attractive.

Why?

When I do bodywork, massage, dance or exercise,
it gets my juices flowing.
I feel more, I sense more, and I get connected to my primal powers.

Depth of Presence

In short: my presence deepens, becoming strong and embodied.
Now some men might prefer sitting in meditation to moving their bodies.
And yes, that will get you very present, too.

But -call me biased and generalizing- I do believe that a woman
loves a man who, she feels, really wants to be here.

Who knows how to enjoy himself.
A man who want to be in his body, and in her body.

Who is able to pick her up and swing her around,
make sweet sweet love to her, but also grab her
and fuck her deeply when called for.

In order to meet someone on all these levels,
you need to be connected to your body, to your feelings,
and to all the different “animals” that live inside.

Fully in touch

My own life experience has convinced me,
that being fully in touch with our bodies is what makes us attractive.

No, not just with our bodies, with our whole life experience!
And even more important than that, is that we can actually enjoy ourselves,
and feel the pleasure of it.

And with that, I mean allowing whatever is felt, to be there.
This not-resisting-what-is, has it’s own kind of pleasure.

It makes us full, charged, and non-needy (more about that in a later post).

What ignites you?

What is it that brings you into a deeper connection
with your body and yourself?

What ignites your passion for life, opens you up,
and helps you to connect to your power?

Is it dance, yoga, hiking, martial arts, biking?
Something completely different?

Haven’t got a clue?

How would it be to use your body in a way
that feels pleasurable and powerful, instead of only functional?

Leave your comment underneath the blog,
I’m looking forward to having this conversation.
Speak soon!

Roald

P.S. To learn more about the Sexual Power program and to sign up,
go here.

4 gedachten over “Coming Home to Yourself”

  1. Being in an state of feeling accepted, feeling strong. My little I unleashed as it is, my masculinity.

    It seems very environmentally depended, like I’m unable to grasp it.

    1. Hey Michel,
      Is there any particular thing that you can do which brings you into
      this deeper connection?
      (That’s why I mention examples like dance, yoga, martial arts, etc.)

      Or any environment that makes you feel this way?

  2. You aced this one.

    Last night I hugged my fear. I saw it sitting on top of me, a weird little creature, shivering from top to toe. In stead of trying to breathe it away (he sat quite heavily on my chest), I said: “Well allright then. Come over here, you…” Why am I surprised at the relief I feel every time I decide to be-with-what-is? It’s not rocket science… Why don’t I have a memory for this?

    I love dancing and doing acroyoga and I meditate every morning (just for ten minutes), but I never feel like it’s enough.

    1. Thanks Jo,
      Seems like you aced this one!
      And it seems we humans need a constant stream of reminders 😉
      Come dance at Ecstatic, you’ll love it!

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Upcoming events

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

Wednesday 5 October will be a special evening. Several trainers of the men’s year training which starts 15 October, will give a short introduction of their work. Of course there will be some explanation in words, but the focus will be on experiencing it for yourself.

When you decide to apply for the year training after this Meetup, there’s a special discount offer of 100 euro! Check the Facebook event for more details

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

05-10-2016 Year Training Introduction Meetup

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

12-10-2016 Real Men Meetup

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

26-10-2016 Real Men Meetup

This is a bi-weekly series of gatherings, in which we address many of the themes that are important to us as men.

—FOUNDATION OF THE MEETUPS—
Every meeting aims to create a deeper sense of brotherhood, and a stronger embodied presence in each man participating.

Being authentic, dropping the masks of social conditioning, and being the unique man that YOU are.

These Meetups are open for all men, with or without experience.
They serve as an introduction to our work at Real Men Project,
as well as a way to integrate it into your daily life.

09-11-2016 Real Men Meetup

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